Tag: Self Esteem

Reimagine Beauty – Dove Forensic Sketch Artist Ad

Reimagine Beauty – Dove Forensic Sketch Artist Ad

When I started this blog I named it “Reimagine Imago,”  because I think that part of healing our world, our relationships with God, other and self requires imagining those things differently.  The images that we carry of ourselves, God and the people around us aren’t 

Development: Youth Development Girls 3.0 – Miley Cyrus

Development: Youth Development Girls 3.0 – Miley Cyrus

    I’ve been home sick today, so I didn’t write and so I’m posting the third part of my youth development series today instead of waiting for Saturday. *Note* This series comes from an integrative theology paper that I wrote on the intersection of 

Development Saturday – Youth Development: Girls 2.0 Beyonce

Development Saturday – Youth Development: Girls 2.0 Beyonce

Photo Credit Osei (Ozzy)

*Note* This series comes from an integrative theology paper that I wrote on the intersection of the doctrine of sin and identity development in young adolescent girls.  You can read part one here

Research on Young Adolescent Girls and Self Esteem Development

Peggy Orenstein’s book, Schoolgirls explores self esteem and what she calls the “Confidence Gap” in young women.  In response to the American Association of University Women’s 1992 report on the achievement gap in schools between boys and girls “How Schools Shortchange Girls”, Orenstein spent a year observing in two Jr. High Schools, one urban and one suburban, and argues that the achievement gap is driven by a confidence gap.

Self esteem is something spoken of quite often in Education and Youth Development fields.  Orenstein describes self esteem as a result of two beliefs a young person holds, first how well she thinks she does at things that are important to her, and second what she believes other important people in her life think about her abilities in those areas.[1]

Many religious leaders worry that too much emphasis on self esteem hurts the spiritual development of youth,[2] this is a mistake.  Healthy self-esteem is not the same as selfishness or pride.  While there are some who have a much inflated sense of self-esteem that is prideful or selfish, many others have a very deflated sense of self-esteem.  Women tend to evaluate themselves more poorly and have a lower self-esteem.  Healthy self-esteem is not irrationally high nor low.  It is not denying our sinful nature, nor our bearing of the imago dei.  Healthy self-esteem is to accept and love the person that God created[3].

According to Orenstein, girls regardless of race or ethnicity experience a drop in self esteem and confidence in early adolescence.  When asked to agree or disagree with the stamen, “I am happy the way I am.”  Fewer girls agreed at age fifteen than at age nine.  The drop was largest in Latina girls and smallest in African American girls.

Race/Ethnicity Drop in percentage points between ages 9 and 15 of girls who say, “I am happy the way I am.” 

African American

7

Latino

38

White

33

Another dynamic of self-esteem in these early adolescent women is their perception of what it would be like to be a boy, and their male classmates’ views on what it would be like to be a girl.  When asked to describe what life would be like if they were born the opposite gender, Orenstein observed  the boys’ responses were largely “have to”s, while the girl’s responses were mostly “get to”s, for example:

  What boys said What girls said
If I were the other gender[4]
  • I wouldn’t play baseball because I’d worry about breaking a nail
  • My room would be pink and I’d think everything would be cute
  • I’d have to spend lots of time in the bathroom on my hair and stuff
  • I’d have to stand around at recess instead of getting to play basketball
  • I’d have to help my mom cook.
  • My father would feel more responsibility for me, he’d be more in my life.
  • I’d have my own room
  • I wouldn’t care how I looked or if my clothes matched
  • I could stay out later
  • I’d get to play more sports

Orenstein’s research is almost two decades old.  The American Association of University Women’s latest report “Wher the Girls Are,” published in 2008, shows that the achievement gap in middle school, and in college entrance exams has closed significantly.  However the themes of Orenstein’s research are reflected in pop culture and   In 2008, Beyoncé’s song, “If I Were a Boy” climbed to number one on the billboard charts.  This song echoes the discussion in Orenstein’s book.

If I were a boy even just for a day/ I’d roll out of bed in the morning/ And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys / And chase after girls / I’d kick it with who I wanted/ And I’d never get confronted for it/ ‘Cause they stick up for me[5]


[1] Orenstein xxiii

[2] See for example: What The Bible Says About Parenting Biblical Principle For Raising Godly Children  by John MacArthur.  “Self-esteem is based on an unbiblical perspective that denies original sin and the doctrine of total depravity” (41).

[3] Eckert 100

[4] Orenstein xxxii and xxxiii

[5] Beyoncé “If I were a boy” I am…Sasha Fierce 2008

Development Saturday – Youth Development: Girls 1.0 Selena Gomez

Development Saturday – Youth Development: Girls 1.0 Selena Gomez

Middle School Development Week 1 *Note* This series comes from an integrative theology paper that I wrote on the intersection of the doctrine of sin and identity development in young adolescent girls.  Traditionally, both theology and adolescent development are fields dominated by men.  There has 

Science and Social Studies Thursday Vulnerability

Science and Social Studies Thursday Vulnerability

The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame. (Genesis 2:25 The Message) This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible.  I love love love the idea of no shame. I can’t imagine a world without 

Music Monday – Bruno Mars: Just The Way You Are

Music Monday – Bruno Mars: Just The Way You Are

Last year I was talking with one of the youth in my youth group.

She is one of the most beautiful children I have ever met.  Not just in a, her soul is beautiful way either, though it is.  Nor is she beautiful in a “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” kind of way either.  Just straight up, she is the picture of beauty.  We were talking about what she brings to school in her lunch.  Celery, spinach, carrots, and sometimes a couple grapes.  When I asked why she packed that she told me:

I am fat, I need to lose weight, and I need to be prettier.

When I asked my middle school girls who they admire last year, unanimously they chose Selena Gomez.  “She’s pretty,” they told me.

The psalmist writes that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  Our bodies, our faces, our hair, our skin, our teeth, all wonderfully made.

I wish that more girls and women believed the message of this song.  I wish that I believed the message of this song.  But too often, we fall into just what Bruno Mars describes:

I know, I know, when I compliment her she won’t believe me                        

 And it’s so, it’s so sad, to think that she don’t see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look ok? You know I’ll say. . . You’re amazing just the way you are.  

Richard came across this cover of “Just the Way You Are” by Mary Mary the other day.  It’s very sweet.  Erica and Tina sing the song to their daughters.  Bruno sings it to a lover.  But this is a message that both little girls and grown women need to hear again and again.  This is a message that mom’s and dad’s need to tell their children.  This is a message that Pastor’s and minister’s need to speak to their congregations.  This is a song that we must teach our son’s to sing to the women in their lives.   This is a message that needs to be heard.